In 2018 a YouGov poll shockingly found that four in 10 women aged between 18 and 36 were sent an unsolicited picture of a mans privates aka a dick pic.
Whilst this may come a bit of a blow and a hard load to swallow to some of the men who send pictures of their penis, my fellow dick pic receiving friends and I often joke and actually spend time talking about the scenery surrounding the senders pride and joy.
Probably not the news serial dick pic senders want to hear, we’ve rated how tidy the room is, questioned why the picture has been taken behind their kids train set (ffs why in the kids room in the first place), we’ve either criticized or commented on the curtains, the carpet, the furniture and the bedding.
I remember one married man sending me a picture of him sitting on the toilet with his old looking boxes, feet on a dirty dirty rug and his bit in his hand. He kept asking what I thought and I just didn’t know what to say.
What did he want me to say? Was he looking for validation? Was he expecting one back in return?
I was pretty grossed out and quite annoyed that he was doing this whilst his poor wife had no idea. Bless her, I saw on social media that the week before she’d posted a picture of them together saying ‘Happy Anniversary to the love of my life’.
As much as I wanted to tell his wife, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to be the one to break it to her, however I did put a stop to it by warning him that if he did it again, I would tell his wife. I also stopped communicating with him.
Then there was the time when I first got onto dating apps, 1 out of 7 would send a picture of their privates. I actually started to see which type of men would send those kind of pictures.
I was born in the late 70’s so the only men who would show their privates to women who hadn’t requested a peek were flashers with long beige rain macs. So why is it that some men think its acceptable to send penis pictures over the internet and why the hell do they not think about the scenery in the background.
A Study published in the Journal of Sex Research gave some interesting insight into the phenomenon of the dick pic. The purpose was to investigate the personality and sexuality characteristics of men who send pictures of their genitalia relative to those who don’t.
It was determined that the most frequently reported category for sending genital images were motivated by hopes of receiving images in return. It was also determined that men who reported having sent unsolicited dick pics demonstrated higher levels of narcissism and endorsed greater ambivalent and hostile sexism than their non-sending counterparts (Further details of the study can be found on the reference at the end of the article).
There wasn’t much information on why the background of the picture wasn’t considered though. I’m thinking of opening up a public discussion of the best or the worst dick pic background they’ve ever received, let me know what you think.
For me, I don’t mind getting a pic from someone I am in a committed relationship with. Depending on my mood it can be a turn on.
By Natasha J Gordon, Dating and Relationship Coach
Ref: Flora Oswald, Alex Lopes, Kaylee Skoda, Cassandra L. Hesse & Cory L. Pedersen (2020) I’ll Show You Mine so You’ll Show Me Yours: Motivations and Personality Variables in Photographic Exhibitionism, The Journal of Sex Research, 57:5, 597-609, DOI: 10.1080/00224499.2019.1639036