Being in a relationship can be the most amazing thing in the world or it can bring a lot of headache, heartache and you can completely lose yourself. I actually don’t remember even asking myself any questions whatsoever in my whole dating and relationship life, however with some experience behind my belt I now believe its more important than ever to ask yourself the following questions if you want to have a long-lasting relationship filled with happiness and adoration rather than pain.
1.What do I want in a relationship?
I’m a strong believer in knowing what you want so you can have what you want. Like goal setting, when you know what your aim is, its easier for you to reach what you’re aiming for and make the right decisions and choices to get you there.
For example, if you are looking for a long-term relationship that eventually ends in marriage, you’ll know to avoid the fuck boys who show no signs of wanting to settle down. Sounds simple right, yet how many people do you know who’s still pining after the man who comes and goes and won’t commit.
Another example is if you want kids and he or she doesn’t, its important to know to avoid a huge conflict later on.
Its easier to avoid what you don’t want when you know what you want.
- 2.Why do I want a relationship?
If you know why you want something it easier to make something work. Are you looking for connection, if you are its important that you have connection within yourself too or are working towards it.
If you’re looking to fill a void then look at filling the void yourself rather than relying on someone else to fill that void. Sometimes the resentment of someone not filling a void can cause arguments and break ups.
- 3.Do I have any baggage that I need to lose before getting into a relationship?
Have you just been through a breakup, separation or just signed the divorce papers? Going straight into another relationship might seem like a great idea, however healing and taking some time to get to know you, your authentic self, your dreams, hopes and desires is better than just going all in, only to realise later on that you’re still hurting and not recovered from before and its now causing trouble in the new relationship.
Its not always easy to think of even asking yourself questions when the apparent person of your dreams has just appeared in your life and sometimes you just got to go with it and learn along the way. Hopefully, these questions may help you to have the dream love life you desire.
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By Natasha J Gordon